I jumped on the bus downtown and almost an hour later, I was finally at home. I wasn\u2019t used to walking so far, but I was sure the fresh air was good for me. I loved the cold weather, and was all too eager to enjoy the cold. I liked the way the snow covered everything, and made it pristine.<\/p>\n
I stroke up the driveway, and climbed up onto the front porch. I walked inside and kicked off my shoes. I removed my coat and hung it up in the closet. The last thing I wanted was to do some stupid little thing like forget to hang up my coat to set my parents off. I removed my hat and shoved it into my pocket so I would know where to find it.<\/p>\n
I ran my hands through my newly shorn hair, shaking out the shorter curls so they weren\u2019t so stuck to my head.<\/p>\n
I walked into the living room, and found my two younger sisters sitting in front of the television and playing with their dolls.<\/p>\n
\u201cHi girls.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHi, Ike!\u201d my youngest sister Avery said to me.<\/p>\n
Jessica was still afraid of me. She moved closer to Avery shyly and made no eye contact with me. Her cast was bright pink and she and Avery had decorated it with markers. Every time I saw the bright pink cast I could feel my stomach lurch. I had apologized to her numerous times, but it didn\u2019t seem like enough. I wasn\u2019t sure she could understand my apology.<\/p>\n
I wandered in the kitchen, finding my mom chopping vegetables at the kitchen island. She was wearing a floral apron. For a moment I thought I was walking out of my own living room and into the fifties.<\/p>\n
She looked up at me and smiled warmly.<\/p>\n
I was sure that this was a fabricated smile. My own mother had issues talking to me, she wasn\u2019t sure how to talk to me anymore. When I\u2019d landed myself in jail, she said nothing to me when she visited me in the concrete jail cell. The only thing she could say to me was that she didn\u2019t know who I was anymore.<\/p>\n
Those words haunted me. Whenever I spoke to my mom, those words ran through my head like a flashing marquee. I was a disappointment to her. I was not the son she had envisioned me to be. I was tainted and defective. I had strayed so far from her expectations that she didn\u2019t know me.<\/p>\n
\u201cHi.\u201d I said, plopping down on a stool at the kitchen island.<\/p>\n
\u201cHello, Isaac.\u201d She smiled gently. \u201cHow was your day? How was work?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWork was okay. We were pretty busy. My boss let me go early because I had that meeting with my PO.\u201d<\/p>\n
My mother frowned.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy parole officer.\u201d I clarified.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, I know.\u201d My mom nodded. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, I guess I\u2019d forgotten. How did that go?\u201d She asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood actually. I told him I\u2019ve been clean, and I\u2019ve been behaving and everything\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd did he see your school marks?\u201d She asked.<\/p>\n
I nodded. \u201cHe was surprised. He thinks I\u2019m doing well, and he said he\u2019s going to set up random drug tests with the school for the next couple of months, even though today\u2019s test was clear. And since there are only two months left of my probation, he\u2019ll schedule a meeting with my lawyer and the judge and see about getting my record expunged. He said if I can get letters of recommendation from my teachers and friends and family members I might be able to put all of these legal troubles behind me. I\u2019ll still have to wait for my license and start from scratch. But at least I\u2019ll be able to go to college if I want and get a decent job some day.\u201d<\/p>\n
My mom was grinning like she\u2019d slept with a coat hanger in her mouth. \u201cOh, that\u2019s amazing! You have no idea what good news that is!\u201d She beamed, coming around the island and hugging me tightly. \u201cThat\u2019s wonderful!\u201d<\/p>\n
I could hardly breath. \u201cWow, okay mom! I can\u2019t\u2026 breath.\u201d I gasped.<\/p>\n
She released me finally. \u201cAre you planning on going to college? Do you know what you want to do in the future?\u201d She asked excitedly.<\/p>\n
I shrugged. \u201cI don\u2019t know. I could do music or something, that would be kind of cool. Olivia suggested I try being an architect because I\u2019m good at math\u2026\u201d I shrugged. \u201cI\u2019ll think about it more once I get all of this probation stuff over with. I\u2019ve got time. I\u2019ll be graduating at seventeen, and I don\u2019t have any money. I\u2019ll pretty much have to work for a year or two before I could afford to go to any kind of college or university.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut there are grants and scholarships out there for you to apply for.\u201d Mom offered. \u201cAnd your father and I would be more than willing to help you out. I know you probably still feel like we\u2019re the enemy and we sent you away to boarding school out of disgrace or spite, but that isn\u2019t it at all. Your father and I love you very much, we\u2019ve always had high hopes for you. We know you can do well in whatever you choose to do. I know you\u2019ve had a little speed bump in your life, but you\u2019re doing very well.\u201d<\/p>\n
I sighed. \u201cThanks mom.\u201d I picked up a small piece of the carrot she was cutting and popped it into my mouth.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you hungry? You\u2019re looking a little thin.\u201d<\/p>\n
I shook my head. \u201cNo, I\u2019m fine, I think.\u201d I stood up and crossed the kitchen, opening the fridge. I poured myself a glass of orange juice and leaned against the counter.<\/p>\n
I glanced at my watch. Olivia should be getting ready to board her flight in the morning. I was counting down the hours until I could see her again.<\/p>\n
I decided to get my mind off of things. \u201cDo you need any help with dinner?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n
Mom raised her eyebrows and glanced at me like I had three heads. \u201cSeriously?\u201d<\/p>\n
I shrugged lightly. \u201cI\u2019m learning. Sometimes Olivia lets me help her cook.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mom smiled. \u201cSure. You could set the table if you like, and maybe make the salad?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSure.\u201d I crossed to the kitchen sink and turned on the water to wash my hands.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo tell me about this girl. Is she pretty?\u201d Mom asked curiously.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah. She\u2019s the most beautiful girl in the world. She\u2019s smart and sweet and she\u2019s just\u2026. She\u2019s got such a sense of who she is. She\u2019s always trying to do the right thing and help everyone. She\u2019s got such strong beliefs and she\u2019s just\u2026 she\u2019s Olivia. She\u2019s not like anyone else I\u2019ve ever met.\u201d I couldn\u2019t hide a small smile when thinking of her.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you going to bring her here? So we could meet her? We could maybe have her over for dinner.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know about that. I mean, I\u2019m sure she would love to meet you all, but she\u2019s a pretty strict vegetarian\u2026 she loves to cook though and she\u2019s amazing at it. I mean half the time she makes a vegetarian meal and I don\u2019t even realize I\u2019m not eating any meat\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s great. She could maybe teach me a few things in the kitchen.\u201d My mom smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe probably could. I mean, she\u2019s so smart with stuff like that. She could sit down with a recipe and completely remake it like it was nothing. She makes all the pieces fall into place.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mom smiled. \u201cIt sounds like you really like her. Does she feel the same way about you?\u201d<\/p>\n
I nodded. \u201cI think so.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, I think I like her already.\u201d Mom smiled. \u201cIs she the good influence on you at school? The one who helps you buckle down?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s the main influence on me, I guess.\u201d I shrugged. \u201cShe\u2019s the one who encouraged me to quit smoking.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mom raised her eyebrows in surprise. \u201cExcellent. I definitely like her now\u2026 how about your roommate? Is he a decent boy?\u201d<\/p>\n
I nodded. \u201cYeah. Thomas is a genius. He\u2019s pretty much like a young Einstein or some kind of super genius. I\u2019m sure he\u2019s going to be the one to cure some strange disease or something.\u201d I walked around the table laying plates in each place at the table. \u201cHe has some issues with the football players. He\u2019s kind of geeky, and not really into sports or anything. He\u2019s more of a chess player. So the football players are kind of hard on him. I think his family is too. But he\u2019s a good guy, so I have his back whenever he needs it.\u201d<\/p>\n
My mom smiled hugely at me. I could almost see the tears glistening in her eyes. I knew what she was thinking. She was probably thinking that I was slowly becoming the Isaac she had known before my issues with drugs.<\/p>\n